I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
