My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
