She said her name was "party"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
