I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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