omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
