she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
