Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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