Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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