But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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