Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize