everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
