I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
