If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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