You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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