I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
