how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
