I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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