i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
