I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
