you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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