When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Randomize
