M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
