you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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