The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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