i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
