At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
