I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
