So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Everclear isn't food dammit
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
