i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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