I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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