trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
