woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Terrible idea I love it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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