Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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