have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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