Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
