I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I understand Curling. That high.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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