Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
