I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
