You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
