She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
