my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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