dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
