He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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