bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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