Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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