Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
