I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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