Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
