Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
the liver wants what the liver wants
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
