I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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