I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
