I just pynch a tree in the face
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
