singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
