It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
