bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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