So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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