Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize