That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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