thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
