put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
