Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
