I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
